This past August, I traveled to England on my own and not only was it an AMAZING trip, it was a real eye opener for me. I learned so much about myself and all the great things I was capable of doing. You can say that this trip was a rite of passage for me.
So I just wanted to share some the writings that put down while I was there (not much though, I was traveling from place to place frequently). I hope you enjoy reading them!
August 8, 2016
Well, I’m finally here again! I really didn’t think it hit me until I looked outside my hotel room’s window and saw the beautiful stonework and the scenic landscape. I’m finally back in England! Windermere to be most exact. As far as I can see, Windermere is a gorgeous small town. I already feel relaxed here. The streets are a little narrow but what do you expect for a small town? I can’t wait to start exploring it tomorrow and see what Windermere has to offer.
August 20, 2016
I leave home tomorrow and sitting here on a pub terrace in Kingston, I can safely say that this is one of the best experiences of my life. I done so much on this trip, accomplished so many things, things I didn’t think was possible for me. And tomorrow , I land back in NY , Lord willing, back to all the problems and issues I’m ashamed to say I thought I would leave behind. It saddens me that I have to leave this beautiful country and most likely won’t be happy again until I return to it. It’s shameful that I had to leave the US in order to get peace and quiet.
Coming here also made me realize something: I need a change. I thought leaving Columbia was that change for me but I don’t think it was. I believe it was a stepping stone. But is it wrong that you wan to switch from a job that you barely been in for a year? It is not like I hate my job. But there are days when I am so drained from doing anything else or I am so consumed with bring work home that I am incapable of doing anything else.Is this what a job suppose to feel like? Placing a full stop on doing what you love?
I miss talking about books with people. I miss looking at historical documents, even touching them. Sometimes, I shake with fear for what is waiting for me back home. If I hear “I need to use the computer”, “I need to print something”, or “Can I have a guest pass?” one more time I might scream.
I visited other libraries in London. I don’t know what it is like on a busy day, but from
what I saw, it was peaceful and quiet, what a library should be. It really was a shock when there were more people reading than the ones on the computer. Like I said, I don’t know how it is everyday but I do like what I see.
Huge part of me feels like this is where I belong. But a small part of me doesn’t want to take that leap. This trip has really question my position, not only my job but my purpose in life. Where do I go from here? Why don’t I feel so fulfilled anymore? Is it me? Am I being ungrateful or am I not taking enough chances in life?
And there you have it. I know what made me decide to share this. With the upcoming new year and the uncertainty of it all, I guess I felt I needed to type all this out, maybe to see that I am not the only who feels this way. As life continues on, we always manage to question our purpose, one way or another.
But to not be such a downer, I’ll end this blog entry with some more pictures from my trip 🙂