What if I was never diagnosed with depression?
That is a question that has always haunted ever since I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 14 and then treated for 5 years after that. What type of person would I have been? Would my childhood have been happier? What type of person would I have grown to be?
What if I was never bullied at school? Would my personality would be different from what it is today? Would I have been more confident in myself throughout myself?
I can’t answer some of these questions because I refuse to look back to the past.
Not because I’m ashamed at what happened to me. Strange as it may sound, being diagnosed with depression may have been the most freeing thing that has ever happened to me. No longer did I have to feel like a burden and suppress my feelings anymore.
I still have my bouts of depression and anxiety here and now again. But instead of shutting myself down, I force myself to let me feelings come out, whether it is vocally or in my writing. Being diagnosed with depression finally gave me my voice.
What if I never was diagnosed with depression?
I wouldn’t be the person I am today.